What I’ve Learned In 4 Years of Marriage

Kyle & Destiny Johnson

I’m really excited to share what I’ve learned in 4 years of marriage, not because I think I know all the answers but because marriage is so interesting. Your marriage can reveal your biggest life lessons and develop your longest lasting relationship. In 4 years I have learned so much from friends, family, books, blogs, and most importantly my husband. I am a rookie at marriage; we are still in the very early stages and we haven’t even moved into the kids stage but, I wanted to tell you a few marriage tips I believe to be pure gold…

Fight With Resolution in Mind

In marriage, disagreements will arise. The question is not if you will fight, but when. Arguments can stem from important life choices or they can develop from dirty dishes in the sink. Regardless of the problem, remind yourself that the goal is to resolve the confrontation you are having with your spouse. Many times people argue with their goal being to prove they are right or even more so that their significant other is wrong. Usually this leaves both parties feeling frustrated and hurt. Change the way you think, instead come at the problem with your mind set to end the argument with a resolution. Is “being right” worth getting divorced? Remember you are in this for the long haul.

Go to Bed Angry

Now this may not work for everyone, but I highly recommend it. I have found that in the heat of an argument, emotions and exhaustion can escalate an argument quickly. I urge you to sleep on it. If the situation is not life or death, drop it, go to bed and evaluate your position in the morning. Some people say they just can’t sleep when they are angry but take some deep breaths and learn to LET IT GO. Go to bed angry, wake up and see if you still feel as vehement as you did the night prior. If yes, set aside a time to talk it out and think about what you could apologize for first. Did you say hurtful words you didn’t mean? Did you overreact? First think about your responsibility in the issue before pointing fingers.

Assume the Best Intentions

This one is tricky so let me explain. Some personality types take everything personally. For example, stinky socks on the ground are not just laundry left on the floor because your spouse is lazy/busy, but instead a personal insult to you as a person. Again, this one takes a mindset change. When your spouse does something that is hurtful, annoying, careless or rude DO NOT assume they did that action on purpose to stab you in the heart. Assume the very best case scenario and if you can’t find one ask kindly what their intentions were. Think instead, “I know my spouse loves me and doesn’t do things to purposely hurt me, he/she must have been too busy or just has bad habits”. 

Think of Everything as 100% Your Responsibility

It is so easy to think if marriage as 50/50. We naturally want “fairness” in our relationship or evenly split responsibilities. This idea of half and half just isn’t realistic. Someone is always going to make more money, someone is always gonna be a better cook, and someone is bound to be the tidy person in the relationship. Many times we get angry with our spouse saying, ” The _____ is your responsibility and you have not done it!”. Then we huff and puff, doing the deed that went undone and begrudge our spouse for it. We may not say it, but we sure do think it, harbor it, and remember it for life. Always assume all the household chores are 100% your responsibility. This works best when both partners have this mindset of course. If you feel your spouse is not chipping in as they should, repeat after me, “Hey honey, I really appreciate it when you do __________, thank you for working so hard”. In the blank, insert anything they already do well that you can praise them for, that you really do appreciate.

Read it, memorize it, and say it until you are blue in the face. After a solid month of not asking for help AT ALL ( no nagging, no hints; just shut up and do the task you want done yourself) you move on to phrase two, “Hey honey, I really appreciate it when you do ____, thank you for all you do for me. Do you think you would be able to help me ____ when you have time?”. Plan this conversation at the best possible time, when they are the least tired, well fed, awake, and preferably in a good mood. Mix this in with with phrase 1 and be patient. Give them grace and love to help them WANT to help you because ultimately who wants to help someone that is always yelling or nagging?!

For more in depth details on this one, read “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman.

Put In The Work

Any career, sport, or hobby you want to be good at takes work, time and effort. So why do you assume marriage will come naturally with no work at all? Ask yourself, “What can I do to be a better wife/husband?” and “How can I better my communication skills?”. Read the books, do the research, study your spouse, and put in the work! Set out to be the best spouse ever!

Make Time For Your Spouse

Truth about humans, we always make time for the things we enjoy doing. We always have time to watch our favorite show on Netflix, but somehow we are just “way too busy” to eat healthy and workout. We always have time to go on social media, but we are “too busy” to have a date night. Sometimes we forget that we need to set aside time for each other so we can remember why we fell in love. You may be at the point where you don’t enjoy your spouse anymore because you haven’t been putting in the work. If that’s where you are at, this should be a red flag that you are not making time for your spouse. You are setting your team up to fail by not planning quality time together. 

Eliminate Negative Talk

Saying negative things to your spouse or about your spouse is a solid NO GO! Become conscious of how you speak to your husband or wife. Are you putting them down with sly remarks, sarcastic jokes, little comments, or cuss words? Are you talking bad about them to friends and family? If you were a cheerleader for your spouse, how would you be doing? If your positive words were water and your spouse was a tree, would there be any leaves left on it? Check in on your words, become aware of what you say, and eliminate negative spouse talk. 

Those are just a few of my big Ah-Ha moments I’ve had, but I hope you have enjoyed them! Wishing you all the best in your marriage and if you made it to the end of this I’m proud of you, that’s a great start!  

The Truth About Real Estate Agents

Destiny Johnson As a Real Estate Agent, I have found that many people perceive agents in my profession as sleazy salesmen one step above selling used cars. Many people think all we do is drive around in fancy cars, make tons of money, talk on the phone all day, and hardly do any work. I have also discovered, people don’t believe we should be paid for what we do, for some reason they would like us to be available 24/7 by phone, text, email, and carrier pigeon while selling their house for free. Can you imagine putting in a 40+ hour work week at your job and having the possibility that you may or MAY NOT get paid for your work? So to clear up the confusion, let me tell you the truth about real estate agents. 

1. We Work On Commission – This is not a bad thing, by contrary belief of the general public. Yes, this does mean that the more expensive house you buy, the more money we make. But this also means that we may show you countless houses for weeks on end and then you decide to rent instead and we make a whopping total of ZERO dollars. Also good real estate agents make it their mission to sell you the house you want so that you will be happy with their service and use us for all of your future transactions. Good agents have long term relationships in mind and their clients interest at heart.

2. We Have Huge Legal Liability – Agents have to keep their files for 7 years and keep perfect documentation as a licensed professional. We got to school, pass national and state tests, get fingerprints taken, and we are held to a very high standard. Every transaction takes loads upon loads of paperwork, sometimes so much so that we have to hire someone to do it all! We can even loose our license in a lawsuit if we do anything against our code of ethics. Driving around in a nice car is only the very tip of the iceberg. It’s kind of like saying all cops do is eat donuts. 

3. Not All Agents Are Equals – Just like any other profession, there are people who are really good at their jobs and then there are people that put in the smallest amount of effort possible. Some agents really make us look bad, but good agents really care about their clients, their reputation, and how well they do. Just because you had an agent who works part-time and never answered the phone, does not mean we are all like that. Believe me, we hate those agents just as much as you do!

4. We Don’t Keep All of Our Paycheck – When your houses closes and you are looking at the closing statement you may think,  ” Wow she is getting a huge check!”. But let’s break that down…. first off Uncle Sam will take 25%-50% of the paycheck right off the bat, so if we are making 10k, we are down to 5k, then we have marketing expenses which are at least 10%, down to 4k, then we have brokerage expenses that we pay to our companies and our brokers, next up is team expenses paid to your team manager, so realistically we may only have 25%-30% going into our pockets! Not to mention we may be working with the same clients for months at a time including in person showings/ appointments, communication via phone, text, and email, around the clock, and managing paperwork behind the scenes. 

5. We Work All The Time – My mom has been a Real Estate Agent for 30 years…. I have seen her take phone calls at 11pm on a Wednesday, I’ve seen her go to 8am listing appointments, I’ve heard her answering emails and text messages at 2pm on a Sunday, I’ve seen her take a call in spin class, and I’ve seen her show 15 houses on a Saturday. WE WORK ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Agents cater to the clients schedules, meaning we have to work when you aren’t working. 

6. Real Estate Is Highly Competitive – Even though having people think you aren’t worthy of their money is bad enough, there are 10 other Real Estate Agents competing for the very same client. This means we have to be on our A game all the time. A missed phone call can mean another agent getting paid instead of us. Right now their are more agents in real estate in Las Vegas than their are available houses on the market!

7. Agents Double As Life Coaches – I have seen my mom help others in ways you could’t imagine. I’ve seen her be the first person someone calls when they found out their husband is cheating or when a parent passes. I’ve seen her rush over to a clients house to take care of a puppy, be a shoulder to cry on, and play barbies with kids. We do a lot of hand holding, cheerleading, and negotiating, and fighting for you and on your behalf. 

So if you think I got into real estate for the money, you are wrong….it really isn’t as glamorous as you think. But it can be very rewarding helping someone get the keys to the first house, downsize to have a better life, or make investments to plan for their future. I love my job and hope I was able to shed a little light about what it’s like to be a real estate agent. 

Sincerely, 

Destiny Johnson

Keller Williams Southern Nevada

Hali’s Angels – The Hali Gillin Group

You Won’t Believe It Until You’ve Been There

Destiny's Adventure

Life. She definitely has a sense of humor. I’ve found that she holds some universal truths that remain secrets until you’ve experienced them for yourself. Generally these truths are foretold to you by your elders. I remember thinking to myself, “Oh that’s not true, you’re exaggerating. Sure, that’s how it was for you but it won’t be that way for me”. Almost everyone of these ideas were told to me by my parents, grandparents, or teachers and for some reason, I never believed them! As I grow up, life has revealed some of her truths to me one by one. Every time I experience another, I laugh and remember the time it was told to me long ago. Here are some of my favorites that are truer than true:

  1. Don’t rush to grow up, you’ll miss being a kid when you’re older.
  2. School is better than work. Enjoy school while you can. 
  3. Don’t eat too much cookie dough, it will give you a stomach ache.
  4. Be nice to everyone, you never know when you will cross paths again. 
  5. Everything you’re stressed about now won’t matter years from now.
  6. You can’t eat pasta by the plate your whole life without getting fat. 
  7. Marriage takes work, it’s not as easy as you think. 
  8. Getting fired isn’t always a bad thing.
  9. Friends will disappoint you but don’t give up on them.
  10. Time goes by exponentially faster with age. 

Have any truths of your own you care to share? Spare me the experience. Please, do tell.

Lipsense or Nonsense?

It seems like everyday one of my friends has been posting about this magical lip gloss stuff that lasts forever. You’ve probably seen a Facebook post or two showing all the fun long lasting lip colors and wondered, “Does Lipsense work and really last all day?”. If you are like me, I had to try it myself to see if it was Lipsense or Nonsense. I messaged my friend Grace who sells Lipsense and got all the details. After talking with her I really wanted to try it on my own lips because I am a natural skeptic. So I took the plunge and ordered Praline Rose with the Glossy Gloss and the Oops Remover. 

The first time I put it on I was so scared I was gonna mess up! But after my three coats and one layer of gloss I was feeling it. I looked in the mirror, took a little selfie, and went on my way which included a 10 hour work day in 100 degree Las Vegas weather. I have to admit, I really didn’t think it would last through breakfast, lunch, and dinner but IT DID! The gloss lasted an hour or so but my color did not budge one bit!

  

So I put it to the test a second day with kitten kisses and all.  Pierre and I agree that the verdict is in…. Lipsense is NOT nonsense, it’s truly amazing! I can’t wait to try the matte gloss though because I am not a huge lipgloss person, so that is already on my wishlist! The Glossy Gloss is super moisturizing which is nice if you have dry lips. 

If you’ve been thinking about giving Lipsense a try I’ve partnered with my fabulous friend Grace to give you 10% off your first purchase! Just go to her Facebook Page Here and mention the code DESTINY10 to get 10% any color, but good luck choosing just one because they are all so gorgeous!

If you love Lipsense too, let me know what color I should try next in the comments below.

Kisses! – Destiny

 

Bonus Tip!!!! Before your three coats do a “liner coat” just like you would line your lips with a lip liner. Doing this beforehand gives you a very defined, more dramatic look that lasts all day. 

Disclaimer: I do not work for or sell Lipsense. I was given 10% off to write this post but I also get to give you the same discount for writing it so bonus for both of us. As always, my blog reflects my true, honest opinion of the products I write about. 

Fun Things to Do In Nashville

Fun things to do In NashvilleTraveling to Nashville in fall is pure vacation bliss. The weather is idyllic and the people are pleasant.  We embarked on a journey down south to celebrate the marriage of a friend and decided to explore all of the fun things to do in Nashville in one weekend. Since we had never been to Nashville, Tennessee I took a leap of faith in the hands of the all knowing Google to plan our itinerary.
Coffee In NashvilleDining in locally notorious restaurants is a must on every vacation we go on, especially in the land of comfort food and fried goodies some like to call Nashville. Our first stop was a local coffee shop called Red Bicycle Coffee. Enjoy the hipster vibe while sipping on their Yelp renowned Cuban and a decadent breakfast crepe if your feeling indulgent.Pretzels in NashvilleI would say it was destiny that I stumbled upon a coupon for a free homemade pretzel while we were shopping in Downtown Nashville. Since I am a glutton for breads of all sorts and can’t say no to a serendipitous event we made our way into a local bar called Clyde’s on Church. There we savored a basket of sinfully good twisted pretzel bread with the local folk and one enjoyed of their many beers on draft. BBQ NashvilleThe ultimate foodie goal was finding an awesome BBQ place that didn’t involve waiting in line for too long. We discovered queuing more than 30 minutes is a typical experience for many of the restaurants with the best reviews. After a long debate involving a comparison of food photos, reading review quotes aloud, and challenging the easiest navigation route, we decided on Martin’s BBQ in downtown Nashville. I recommend going there for lunch because supplies are limited. To my chagrin, they were out of mac n’ cheese when we finally got to the register to order our supper. We dried our tears and down a rack of baby-back-ribs like ravenous carnivores after not-so-patiently waiting 35 minutes in line. The BBQ ribs and potato salad did not disappoint, but I would have given anything for a bowl of cheesy goodness. By the way, fried cornbread is not to my liking, very dry and not what I was expecting. I will stick to the traditional cornbread slathered in butter and honey and y’all can keep your flat pancake looking thing.Icecream Nashville TennesseeSince my sweet tooth guides me to find a treat wherever we go, choosing a dessert stop was a no-brainer. We embarked on a mission to Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream over in East Nashville that was well worth the jaunt. They have numerous unique flavors like blueberry goat cheese, salted caramel, and my favorite Intelligentsia espresso. I happily sampled over 10 different flavors before I settled on the perfect combo.Parthenon NashvilleOk, if food isn’t fun to you…..we probably couldn’t be friends. Fun things to do in Nashville that do not involve eating or drinking are few and far between. So I won’t lie, everything we did in Nashville was planned around food, but after our appetites were appeased we ventured to the Parthenon Replica and Museum in Centennial Park as our first tourist stop. I begrudgingly entered the museum as my husband persuaded me to be a good sport, but after seeing the full scale 42-foot replica of Athena while listening to a live violinist, I was glad I indulged his love for history.Nashville Pedal TavernOne of the most memorable events we partook in was pedaling a wild ride on the Nashville Pedal Tavern. The 2 hour bicycle bar tour consisted of 12 strangers becoming well acquainted through uphill pedaling, drinking games, and singing boisterously while seeing the sites of downtown Nashville. If I were to recommend one fun thing to do in Nashville, it would be to climb aboard this unique bicycle contraption and bring your own adult beverages.Fun Things to Do In NashvilleShopping in the local artisan booths around the famous Antique Archaeology store in the Marathon Motors building downtown was a blast. The recycled building consists of all sorts of boutiques including handmade souvenirs and even locally designed clothing. My joy for supporting local businesses was satisfied as we took home a few cherished items to remind us of the fun we had in Nashville.Jack Daniels Tennessee Tour Jack Daniels Distillery Tour

Our last day was spent journeying to the Jack Daniels Distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee which is approximately an 1.5 hour drive from downtown. We cruised through the rolling hills adorned with autumn trees with their best fall leaves. The tour was remarkable and I would highly recommend the tasting if you are going to make the trip to the distillery. Fun fact: over 98% off the materials used to make Jack’s famous sour mash (whiskey) are recycled and reused!Fall in Nashville TennesseeThere are plenty of fun things to do in Nashville, Tennessee and we still have a few things left to do on our list that went unaccomplished! All the more reason to visit again sometime soon.